Don't Mess with the Queen
by BlissfullySortOfAnonymous
Summary: Summer Exchange Challenge-- Maybe being a jerk doesn't always work out so well--a lesson Avaric desperately needs to learn. A devious headmistress, a magic spell, and some adoring boys just might be enough to teach him.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Wicked is not mine. Nor is the line from Anne of Green Gables that I sort of borrowed.**

**Here's the first chapter of my Summer Fic Exchange story. The challenge was given by deeplyshallow. Anyway, it shouldn't be more than a few chapters, but it should be a lot of fun! I'm having fun writing it, anyway. **

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Boyfriends. Such a little word.

Such a big problem.

Such a big problem, in fact, that a certain Galinda Upland's boyfriend-induced tears could be heard far from the fountain upon which she spent most of her Saturday morning. The sound was magnified by the bullfrogs that croaked in accompaniment with Galinda's wails.

"Stupid Fiyero," she hiccupped, smearing the back of her hand under her streaming nose. The idiot in question had just publicly threatened to break up with her—all because he thought she'd been flirting with Avaric. Preposterous!

……Ok, so maybe she had been, but Avaric had started it. She'd just gotten carried away; that's all. Surely that was forgivable. She huffed. _Somebody_ didn't think so….

Just then, someone came whistling around the corner. '_Speak of the devil…'_

"Why, Miss Galinda," Avaric drawled, pretending to be surprised at her tears, as though he hadn't personally witnessed her and Fiyero's shouting match only that morning.

"Go away, Avaric."

Her feigned sympathy. "Is the princess upset?"

"I said go away."

Ever one to push boundaries, Avaric plopped down on the fountain beside her—entirely _too close_ beside her. He tugged on a soggy curl and watched it bounce half-heartedly back into place. "I think you and I should pick up where we left off. What do you say?"

"Absolutely not." She scooted resolutely away from him.

"Aw, c'mon, princess." She turned her back to him. "What's the matter? Is life not so perfect today?"

Glinda was beginning to be angry. What right did he have to taunt her when the whole mess was his fault? Jerk.

But Avaric wouldn't let up. "What reason could you possibly have to be upset?" he said snidely. She didn't answer. "I'm waiting."

Galinda fumed in silence for a moment, but when she felt a sharp pinch on her upper arm, she scrambled to her feet and turned on him. "Avaric whatever-your-last-name-is," she shrieked. "That is _it_!"

With every ounce of strength she could muster, she closed her eyes and swung her purse in his general direction. There was a solid thunk, and then a splash as Avaric toppled into the fountain. By no means appeased, Galinda leaned over the water and waited for him to surface. When he did, sputtering and flailing his arms, his face bore a splotchy red pattern identical to the sequins on her purse.

Galinda leaned in further, so that she was mere inches from his stunned face. "Why don't _you_ try being a beautiful girl with millions of guys pestering you all the time, and not being allowed to flirt with any of them! It's not as easy as it looks." She straightened and glared. "Personally, I don't think you'd hold up very well. And now, I think I'll leave you to chat with the bullfrogs. They're very talkative this morning." As if in answer, one of the frogs gave a loud croak.

She paused for a moment, resting her fingertips against her chin. "Hmm, I feel much better now," she mused. Then, with a bright smile and a wave, the queen of Shiz skipped past the fountain, past the naked statue that served as a manifestorian of Shiz's artistic sophistication, and disappeared around the corner.

But what the so-called queen of social life at Shiz failed to realize was that behind the aforementioned naked statue lurked the true mastermind behind the intricate goings-on at the university. The unseen woman inserted a long fingernail into the clump of frizzy grey hair on her forehead and itched, waiting. When she was sure Galinda was out of earshot, she removed the fingernail from her hair and waved it a few times, muttering under her breath. From her hiding place, she could only see Avaric's backside—but that was enough, as was the high-pitched squeal that emanated from him a moment later.

It was going to be a very interesting week.


	2. AN

**A/N: I just wanted to apologize to my challenger for blowing this story off like this…I'm in the middle of the next chapter, but I'm having major writer's block with it. I want it to be funny, but the darned thing just WILL NOT BE FUNNY. I'm trying, I promise! It WILL be up eventually.**


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